What's New Archive

What's New - March, 2002


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Sunday March 31, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Happy bunny day! I hope you're all feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and everything is egg-cellent in your lives today. Nope, don't want any hard boiled eggheads out there ruining all the fun. So, don't wanna hear a Peeps out of 'em.

Boy, my puns aren't very bunny.. ah, darn it. I meant to say they aren't very *funny* today. Sorry about that.

In holiday related news, an apology for not recognizing Passover as it passed over... I plum forgot. So, to those who celebrate it, happy belated Passover. I know it wasn't so happy in parts of the world, but I hope yours was a good one. Can you tell I'm not very familiar with Jewish holidays? I just did a brief web search on Passover, and realized I have a lot to learn.

Oh, Carolina...

Very spiffy bard Cephalgia is moving to North Carolina shortly, and would like to know what's the what with the state... you know, fun stuff, etc. I just realized I neglected to ask her what part of the state she'll be in. Okay, I am an idiot. Anyway, if you have any info on the fine state of NC, please send it her way at cephalgia@hotmail.com.

Now let's hop to the updates...

What's New:

  • Snowbound - Part 15 By Queenfor4 posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Serendipity - Part 20 Conclusion By Rocky posted at To Uber or Not To Uber (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Compensation - Part 11 By S. Anne Gardner posted at Gemini (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Tales of the Kirgeur - Part 1 By Blue Dragon posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    When slavers attack her village, a young, untested warrior, Torienne, must team up with Salenia, another young and untested warrior to rescue those taken. The Quest leads them farther than any of their tribe have been in recent memory. They will make their legacy on the journey, or die trying. It's all for duty. After all, they are kirgeurs. Continuing story.

  • Tie Break - Part 6 By Bonnie posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Wall of Silence - Part 8 Conclusion By GabGold posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion.

  • The Road Back Home - Part 30 Conclusion By Lynne Norris posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion.

Saturday March 30, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

For those of you who celebrate Easter, happy day before! And a little shameless plug -- here's a link to my "Xena and Gabrielle's First Easter" story I wrote last year...

And here's hoping we all have a few red eggs in our future.

Need Help Finding Mavis?

Mavis Applewater's site at Anglefire has been doing that nasty exceeding bandwidth thing, so her kindly webmistress, Lisa, has set up a temporary mirror:

If you haven't been to Mavis' site, go there right this very second and read the PWP's (the two newest are awesome... of course, they're all awesome) and her other stories. Do it! Now! What are you waiting for?!? But don't forget to come back, 'cause... well, there be stories and story updates below.

Talk show topics...

Jerry Springer: Valentine's Day With the Klan
(The Klan, as in the KKK? Sorry but thinking the KKK and a day celebrating love together makes me extremely nauseous.)

What's New:

  • Home Improvement By Mavis Applewater posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    From the Wed. Afternoon PWP series. (Note from Celine: where can I find a plumber like Cora?) *****Celine Recommends*****

  • A Short Vacation By Mavis Applewater posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    From the Wed. Afternoon PWP series. (Note from Celine: and I thought I needed a vacation before... where can I sign up for one like this?) *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Wall of Silence - Part 8 Conclusion By GabGold posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion. (Yeah! I get to read it now!)

  • The Promise - Part 3 By JM Dragon posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Friday March 29, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

In "I am scum" news, I want to apologize publicly to Judith W. She asked me to ID an uber, and I mis-identified it. I'm a dork. My head was obviously in some other dimension. So, I'm sorry, Judith. But if you still want to make that offering you mentioned, I'm all for it. ;)

In scooter news, it's still broken. My brother traced the wiring in the area where the shop place had said it had a short, and he couldn't find it. So off it goes to another shop, provided he can get it to someone who can actually fix it sometime before the next millennium. In little 3-wheeled scooter news, it went to the repair place yesterday, and they can't find the problem. In Mom news, she's still ill. In computer news, my replacement power cord came today, so I can once again use my laptop. So that's a good thing. In weather news, it's sunny outside, so I think I'm going to go for a walk. Of course, I take a walk everyday, so that's not news. But I'll be enjoying the sunshine.

In... um, interesting news, someone suggested I start taking questions from y'all... kinda like the gay Dear Abby. Oooookay. So, here's the plan. If any of you *need* advice... well, write to Dear Abby, or call your mother, or whatever. But if you *want* advice of the rambling variety (meaning, I seriously doubt I'll solve your problem, but it might be fun), I'm your gal.

So, write to me at uber@wvi.com, and we'll see where this goes. If it's a big flop, we can all blame the person who suggested it. I won't name names, though, because she might not send me previews of her stories anymore. :)

What's New:

Wednesday March 27, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Note: I started two days ago, and life reared its ugly head, and I didn't get a chance to finish posting. Sorry about that. I try not to have a life get in the way, but it happens whether I want it to or not. :)

------------------------------------

In announcement news, helpful Beyond Uber reader Alex sent along info about Xena Live II, a live play based on the TV show, which is fixing to start up in a few days in Chicago, IL.

I've heard the play is quite well done, so if you're in the area, give it a look see. The show will run for over a month. See it once, or see it more often than I use the word spiffy! Or somewhere in between. The choice, my friends, is yours.

In things that break news... um, so, the power cord to my laptop sorta quit working the other day. It's overheating, and won't power the laptop for more than a few minutes. Which, to me, isn't a good thing. It's still under warranty, so I'll be getting a new one by Friday or so. I didn't break it, I swear! I'm just lucky that way.

No word yet on the Purple Plaything... my brother was tied up the last couple of days -- he was working, people! Goodness... get your mind out of the gutter! :) -- so he didn't have time to do much of anything. He's going to try to work on it himself tonight, which would save me a lot of money, provided he can get it fixed. It seems to be a tricky issue to deal with.

In spiffy ROC autograph news, on which wall do you think I should hang her loveliness? That one, that one, that one, or that one? There are four walls, after all. I'm thinking that one, but I might go for that one. And it can't really be that one, because the window takes up most of the wall. Decisions, decisions. It has to go near Callisto, I know that much. Yeah, sure, they didn't get along on the show, but I think their photos will be okay. And I have all those absolutely spiffy autographs from several of you who attended the 2001 Pasadena Con which Raven collected for me.

In Tango the Wonder Kitty news, he's presently trying to lay on top of my monitor. Which isn't an easy task, since the top slopes down. But he's giving it a go, anyway. Oh... he's wedged himself up there somehow, and is now staring at me. I wonder what he's plotting in that little furry head of his.

I'm scared to find out.

What's New:

Monday March 25, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

So, my brother came out today to take my scooter into Salem, to see if he can find someone who might actually be able to fix my Purple Plaything. The guy who came out yesterday said it was beyond his level expertise. So we search. Hey! This would make a great episode of "In Search Of."

I should have been a TV programmer. I have such great ideas for TV shows.

In other news, I'm presently experiencing a rambling topic deficit. Since life has been pretty quiet the last handful of days, I haven't had much to ramble about. Gosh, my life is boring. Even Tango was a good boy today. He's mostly been sleeping on my bed. Say, that's not a bad idea. I think I'll go do that myself. If he'll make room, that is.

I just watched the Oscars, and I just want to say Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women in the world. But, then, you probably knew that.

What's New:

  • Imperfectly - Part 1 By BardBQue posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    "...i've been offered love in two dimensions before and i know that it's not all that it's made out to be/let's show them how it's done let's do it all imperfectly" ~ ani difranco. This story kinda revolves around those four lines. well, i think it does anyway. read it and find out!! (Summary written by the bard.) Continuing story.

  • Snowbound - Part 14 By Queenfor4 posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • A Soldier's Peace - Part 2 By SB Zarben posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • White Nights - Chapter 54 By Minerva posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Heatwave - Day 3: Part 2 By Migit posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • The Road Back Home - Part 29 By Lynne Norris posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Darkfin - Year 2 - Vignette 14 - 3 Years To the Day By Lizzy TJ posted at the Darkfin site (Beyond Uber)
    Continuing story.

Sunday March 24, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

I just received a very nifty email from Laura, who received a Honda Reflex scooter for her birthday (happy birthday!). She is now the proud owner of a gold scooter which travels at 85mph.... color me jealous, and roughly 60mph slower. :) So, you know... it needs a name, Laura. How about the Gold Giddyup? Or... the Gold Gabrielle? :) Hmmm, I'll leave the naming thing alone. I'm libel to rupture my brain or something, especially if I start thinking of riding Ga... um, never mind. Anyway, I strongly recommend getting a 'girls kick ass' bumper sticker.

Enjoy your scooter, Laura... it's a very cool thing to have. :)

In my scooter news, the guy who came over to look at it decided he probably knows where the problem is, left to go get some tools from a friend, and didn't return. I may have to wonk him over the head or something. *After* he fixes my scooter, of course. Provided he ever comes back.

In thank you news, I want to thank Lynne for sending me a recap of Claire Stansfield reading my 'Uber Is' story at the Con... I appreciate it a lot. And I'm glad the whole thing was spiffy. I wouldn't want it any other way.

What's New:

  • The Binding Tie - Conclusion By Maderlin Bidmead posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion.

  • Lyrical Ballads: Hero By damnation posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    How do you react when someone you barely know asks you to leave everything behind? If you take a chance in life, would it all work out one way or the other?

  • Strangle of the Heart - Chapter 1 Revised By Pallas posted at MaryD's (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • The Greatest Gift - Part 3 By Carrie Carr posted at MaryD's (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

Saturday March 23, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Tango the Wonder Kitty and Butler the official Tango sidekick are t-r-o-u-b-l-e. Whatever Tango does, Butler does. It's like their theme music is that "Anything you can do, I can do better" song.... only theirs is called "Anything you can break, knock over, or otherwise disrupt, I can break, knock over, or otherwise disrupt better." Lately, when I go into to the bathroom for something, they both get behind the toilet and refuse to leave. That's because they want me to leave so they can knock over the little garbage can and shred the toilet paper.

When I finally get them out of the bathroom, they both run into my bedroom, and hide under the desk. I'm not sure why they do that. There isn't any toilet paper in there.

In Purple Plaything news, the guy who's coming over to look at my scooter couldn't make it today, so we're going to try again tomorrow. He had to go get stoned. No, wait. That's not right. He had to go *cut* a stone. He does stone work for a living. You know, tombstones and the like. So he had to go work today.

Talk shows...

Jerry Springer: I Just Found Out My Girlfriend Is Really My Sister
(I can't tell you how often that's happened to me)

What's New:

Friday March 22, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

So, let me just apologize for not sending out an update yesterday. I've been having trouble with my email, but I seem to be back on track now.

In other news, I've heard tell that Claire Stansfield (Alti on 'Xena') read my 'Uber Is As Uber Does' (http://www.beyonduber.com/uber_is.htm) story during one of her on stage things at the NY Con. That is rather spiffy. Quite spiffy, actually. Extremely spiffy. That would have been fun to watch. I don't know any of the details about it, so if anyone wants to tell me alllllll about it, I'm all ears. :) I wonder what/who pointed her to my story?

In Purple Plaything news, a friend is coming over to take a gander at it to see if he can figure out what's the what with the darned thing. Cross your toes, everyone, and wish him luck! :)

I looked at it this evening (the scooter, not your toes), and felt its pain. It's like that whole E.T./Elliot thing in the movie 'E.T.' where Elliot became ill when E.T. was ill. My scooter and I have a symbiotic relationship. It's a deep spiritual connection, which can best be described as, "girls kick ass." Because we do. And my Purple Plaything is most definitely female.

Hey! Maybe it's having an extended menstruation cycle!

Or maybe not.

What's New:

Wednesday March 20, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Thanks to all who wrote to inform me of the identity of the unknown uber story I posted last night.

Earth Angel by C.E. Gray
http://www.xenafiction.net/scrolls/ce_gray_ea1.hts

I and the person looking for the story thank all who wrote. You guys rock.

In other news, I've discovered something (else) interesting about Tango the Wonder Kitty. He likes my web camera. He purposefully gets in front of it and just stares at it for minutes on end. I'm not sure why. At first I thought it was a fluke, but he keeps doing it. Earlier today, I he got up behind my lava lamp, at which the camera was pointing, and sat there looking at the camera. The other day, he sat in the window in front of the camera and stared. And a little while ago, he had to lay on me while I had the camera pointing in my direction.

He's weird. Okay, we knew that. But how can he know to look at the camera? The only thing I can think of is he's not really a cat, he's some sort of alien being. It would explain a lot.

In related news, the last several days have been snuggle-fests with Tango. He's only a lap cat when he wants to be, and lately, that's been quite often. And when he wants to snuggle, there's no stopping him. He follows me around, rubbing up against everything, until I pick him up or sit down so he can lay on my chest or lap. It's those times when I think he's finally growing up and maturing. Then he pulls towels out of the cupboard in the bathroom, or shreds some toilet paper. That's when I realize how stupid I really am.

But he's sweet and lovable, so I think I'll keep him.

More talk show topics:

Jerry Springer: My Husband Drove Me to Have an Affair With a Transvestite

Jerry Springer: I'm Having a Lesbian Affair With My Midget Sister

I just don't know what to say about those.

What's New:

  • The Greatest Gift - Parts 4 and 5 By Carrie Carr posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • The Cat's Meow By BardBQue posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    This is a little tale of murder and intrigue. Well, no not really. It's just a short story about love and... stuff... told from a cat's point of view.

  • A Soldier's Peace - Part 1 By SB Zarben posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Picture this: What if there was a researcher/reporter whose current job was the only way she could make ends meet after her own plans for the future went spiraling out of control. And what if she was handed one of, if not the largest story of the year? Dealing with a failed Naval mission that resulted in the deaths of many, many people. What if her main source of information was the leader of the Navy unit involved, who also happened to be blamed by almost every paper and form of media in the United States? What if this story slowly started becoming important to her, or more importantly, what if she found yourself becoming friends with the Navy Captain? What if someone else didn't want her to crack this story? What would they do? What would she do? What would you do? This is Captain Dean Ransom's and reporter Ranelle Maloch's story. Continuing story.

  • Houdini's Box - Part 6 By Girl Bard posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Monday March 18, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Hi! Since Yahoo Groups took the weekend off, so did I. So rest assured, you didn't miss a darned thing.

In slightly belated birthday news, guess what I received in the mail today, from Singer and Raven? An autographed ROC photo! Be still my beating heart. It's adorable. It's spiffy. It's nifty. It's... mine. *sigh*

I want to say a big THANK YOU to these two fine gals for giving me such a wonderful gift. Singer and Raven, you two ROC.

Raven also sent me along some cuter than cute M&M stuff (including M&M playing cards!)... so, thanks for that, too, lady.

In other news, any of you who might have gone to the NY con and saw Claire Stansfield... could you email me (uber@wvi.com)? I'm curious as to which story or stories she read. Thank ya much.

In uber ID help news... here's the summary:

"X is from a gang called the amazons and is second in command to the leader who is called Cardinal. coz they all have bird names according to their ranks and all. X is called Raven or Hawk i can't really remember. She saves G from being mugged and raped and G tells her family that X saves her, so G's dad asks her to come over to the house so they can properly thank her. During the dinner someone sees the feather in X hair or the tattoo i can't remember which and knows that she's an amazon. um yadada yadada yadada X and G fall in love but when G is planning something for X with Eagle (which is another Ama) X thinks that something else is going on and gets trashes with an ex-gf and wakes up naked and covered in love bites from the ex. um soooo G gets mad coz the ex turns up with X missing necklace and g throws x out then they get back together and get married and G is an Ama too ... "

Please email me if you know the above story, and I'll pass it along.

In Purple Plaything news, I gave up on the repair place where it was, and brought it home... I'm $60 poorer now. A friend who works on all kinds of motors and things is going to take a look at it for me... if that fails, I'll try another repair place. My poor scooter... it looks so sad, sitting there, not being able to go anywhere. It wants to kick ass, darn it!

What's New:

Friday March 15, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Here is a lovely song... first verse written by Nancy (at least, she sent it to me... I kinda forgot to ask if she wrote it herself), second verse written by me:

My uber 'tis of thee
Sweet uber X and G
Of thee I sing

Uber X's brother died
So she's tormented inside
Will uber G be let inside
We'll read and see!

Isn't that lovely? Oops, used that word already. Let me try again.

Isn't that beautiful? There, that's better. My verse has a repeating word, too... I couldn't think of anything else which rhymed. *sigh* There goes my songwriting career.

Purple Plaything update: it's still in the shop. They've isolated it to the electric choke, and apparently it's somewhere in the wiring. That means nothing to me, but my brother says it makes sense to him. I'm glad it makes sense to someone.

When I get it back, the PP and I are going to have a talk about not breaking down anymore. I'm sure it won't listen, but I have to try.

Important food craving update: I just saw a commercial for whipped topping. I now want whipped topping. I think there's some in the freezer. Hmmm.

Daytime Talk Show Topic Time!

Jerry Springer: Surprise: I'm a Man!
(Wasn't Jerry a lesbian for a day not too long ago? Guess he can't make up his mind)

Ricki Lake: Real-Life Vampires
(Son of a bacchae!)

What's New:

  • Dinner With the Family By Mavis "I'm Misunderstood, Dammit!" Applewater posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Sequel to the Wed. Afternoon PWP "Coffee Break". *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Lyrical Ballads: Eyes On Me By damnation posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Let's face it: life outside the world of fiction sucks. So, when struggling writer, Chase, tries to make something out of her lot, she wasn't expecting to go very far. Then, at a place she least expects, she finds her inspiration.

  • Southern Cross - Part 7 Conclusion By Windstar posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Conclusion.

  • Houdini's Box - Part 5 By Girl Bard posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Tie Break - Parts 3 and 4 By Bonnie posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Thursday March 14, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

I, uh... well, my treadmill's broken. I didn't do it! I truth, I haven't even used it in a while. Today I actually decided to get on it. But after I turned it on, it started making thumping noises, and the belt thing one walks on doesn't turn all that well.

*sigh*

It was an old treadmill, so it was bound to give out sooner or later. It saw all the other things breaking, and thought, "What the heck?"

In Purple Plaything news, it's still in the shop. The mechanic took yesterday off, and today he apparently didn't get anything done. He was trying to get hold of someone or another to get something or another faxed to him about the choke and carb. I know I feel liking choking something, and it ain't the carburetor. :)

So here's the latest on what's broken 'round here: my Purple Plaything, my little 3-wheeled scooter, the treadmill, my mother (she's been sick with something in the vicinity of pneumonia for several weeks), and my bank account.

Thank the gods for uber. It's kept me going through all these trials and tribulations. Say... does anyone actually use the word 'tribulations' without the 'trials and' part being tacked on? I can't think of a single instance of having done so, myself.

More fun with talk show topics!

Jerry Springer: My Ex-Girlfriend Stole My Pet Pig
(On the plus side, there'll be bacon for breakfast at the ex's house!)

Ricki Lake: My Rolls Are Phat and Your Skinny Butt Ain't Where It's At
(Mo' booty, mo' booty, mo' booty?)

Jenny Jones: All You Haters Step Aside, I'm Model Material and I'm Going Worldwide
(And RuPaul will provide my theme song)

What's New:

  • Provenance - Part 7 By Cruise posted at What's Ya Poison? (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Eyes On Me By damnation posted at What's Ya Poison? (Beyond Uber Alt)
    First of the Lyrical Love Ballads.

  • Deadly Challenge By Trish Kocialski posted at MaryD's (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Summary pending. Appears to be complete.

  • Heart's Desire By Idryth posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    When danger threatens the land of Rhyllen, two childhood friends must face heartache and peril to obtain the greatest prize of all.

  • Habaname - Part 5 By Ana Ortiz posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Wall of Silence - Part 7 By GabGold posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • The Reality In Dreams - Part 1 Updated By A. Tietz posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Updated story part.

  • Caution: Under Construction - Part 22 By Vertigo posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • The Brass Ring - Part 15 By Mavis Applewater posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • It's Only a Game Show - Part 5 By S. Eliot posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Tuesday March 12, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Greetings, friends. I didn't post an updated yesterday because I fell asleep. I don't know why. It must have been all that partying I didn't do on my birthday... gave me a non-hangover. :)

In other news, Yahoo Groups is going to be down...

"The Yahoo! Groups service will be down for scheduled maintenance Friday, March 15, 9:00 PM PST (GMT-8) as we move our servers to a new facility. We expect the service to be restored the morning of Sunday March 17."

So, forget this coming weekend for posting and receiving email from your favorite Yahoo Groups lists. The web site will be down, as well. I'll still post new stories to the site, but I may refrain from posting until Yahoo Group is back online. I haven't decided yet.

In Purple Plaything news, it's still in the shop. The only place in my town which works on bikes is a Yamaha shop, and the scooter is a Honda, so the Yamaha shop has to wait to talk to the Honda shop in a neighboring town about something having to do with testing the choke and carburetor. Don't ask me what that means. I'm clueless. I guess this means I don't get my butch card after all. :)

I somehow broke my little 3-wheeled scooter (similar to a motorized wheel chair) I used to use before I got my Purple Plaything... I used the little scooter to go to the store, and it was raining, and the scooter is electric... I guess something shorted out. It has no brakes and if you stick the key in, it goes full speed, without any prompting from me.

I think I'm jinxed. I should stay far away from any motorized vehicles of any sort. I seem to break them all... my brother's truck when he picked up my scooter last week, my scooter, and my little scooter. Next thing you know, I'll break my leg or something, so I can't even walk. :)

What's New:

Sunday March 10, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

We have a special ramblings treat from the awesome bard T Novan! Her ramblings are below, and at the end is a mini ramble from me.


Raven asked me a long time ago to do this and then real life intervened, ain't that the pits?

So here I am now, I figured since I ramble a lot anyhow, I could do this. I can talk about nothing for hours . It's a talent. Not a necessarily a rare talent from the idiots I've been forced to listen to from time to time, but a talent none the less. I mean there's a guy living right here in the Metro DC area that just goes on and on and on and hasn't said anything that makes sense in over a year now. He lives in a big white house.

So I asked myself, "Self, what should I ramble about?"

Self said back, "Well, Stupid if you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

Big help Self was. No Self help around here.

I could tell you about Gabrielle...NOT that Gabrielle. My dog Gabrielle, she's half Husky and half Chow...I call her Stupid. The warm weather here in Virginia has caused her fur to start falling out...IN GREAT BIG clumps. Not a hair here or a hair there...noooooo that's too easy. These are great big stub your toe on them clumps.

I could knit an entire other dog, if I knew how to knit. I can't do that kinda stuff, to frufru for my tastes. Now don't get me wrong, I know lots of folks LOVE doing it, but have to remember I'm a retired cop. I'd much rather process a crime scene. The gorier the better. Yeah, I know, it's sick.

You might ask why in the hell I'm up and functional at 1:30 am, well the truth is...I don't have a friggen clue. I'm supposed to be working. Words Heard in Silence needs to be edited so it can go to our wonderful publisher. And I'm working (okay I'm SUPPOSED to be working) on the second in the Ford series. I'm also supposed to be working on my scripts for Subtext Season 7 (shhhh I'll get to it, don't tell the crew they'll come here and torture me). Then there are the other 28 or so projects I'm playing around with…including the second Madam President.

But I'm not working, not really, well sort of...I've got about five files open that I'm tinkering with. I did just manage to finish another installment of Legends Legacy. So I guess I'm not a complete waste of space.

I'm also watching the third Survivor. I love that stupid show. I always just want to take those people and smack 'em simple (No I don't have an anger control problem). They whine, they bitch and they complain all the time. Damn Sam if you're hungry get off your butt and find a tuber somewhere! Geeze...It's not like you actually HAVE to catch food...but noooo they wait till old Jeffey boy says drink this blood or eat this raw meat...idiots.

I've discovered from watching these reality shows there are LOTS of stupid people in this world. Thank God Mark Burnett is rounding them all up and shipping them off to remote locations. To bad he lets them go after sixteen weeks. I think they should combine Survivor and Cops. NOW that would be a show worth watching<G>. One team of crooks and a team of the cops sent in to track them down with dogs and helicopters<G>.

Okay, I can probably stop now<G> I'm sure I've bored you all out of your minds. But this is what happens when my muse lets go of my brain and says, "Sure go ahead show them how bright you are without me." I can hear her laughing now.

Night folks.

TNOVAN@aol.com
http://www.ausxip.com/tnovan


More from Celine:

Wasn't that spiffy? Anytime you want to ramble, TN, it would be our pleasure. And I have a chow, so I can empathize with the hair thing. I firmly believe my chow should learn to vacuum so he can pick up after himself.

In other news, I love each and every single one of you. I just thought you should know.

I received about a bajillion birthday wishes -- how you guessed it was my birthday after my oh so subtle mentions of it is beyond me -- and I appreciate them all. There were M&M cards, and Maxine from Hallmark cards, and smiley face cards, and many more... each message was very cool. Thank you.

My 6-year-old nephew gave me a little airplane he made out of cardboard and (here's the best part) Hershey's Kisses. Three of 'em. I haven't had the heart to actually take the Kisses off the plane yet. And there's another chocolate in the shape of lips in purple foil. He's a smart young man... gives a girl what she really wants -- chocolate. He also gave me $0.26, a mini gazing ball, and a beautiful rose. He's so sweet.

We didn't do the strawberries and chocolate thing today... mainly because we don't have any strawberries, and I don't like 'em, anyway. Instead, we did the pizza and chocolate chip shortbread cookies thing. But not together. Pizza and cookies together... um, ick. But one at a time.... mmm, mmm good.

What's New:

  • Gentle Sunset - Part 3 By Erin O'Rielly posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Just Business As Usual By Blue Dragon posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    On a business trip to Houston, Barbara finds so much more than the usual. Complete.

  • Companion Peace - Part 3 By MelVee posted at the Beach House (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • BF4EVR - Part 4 By Miri posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Women on the Rebound - Part 4 By KC Kirkwood posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Saturday March 9, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

I'm 28! God, I am so excited. I plan on spending it when 9 of my closest friends... my mother, three dogs, four cats, and a guinea pig. I'll recite some favorite uber passages while we dine on strawberries dipped in chocolate, ala Missy Good's Dar and Kerry stories. So there won't be any of that nifty body painting and other related activities as happened with Dar and Kerry, but a good time will be had by all, just the same.

Guess what I received in the mail today... 'Love's Journey' by Carrie Carr, signed by the bard herself, with magnets and a bookmark. Thank you, Carrie... you and AJ rock so very much. :)

In Purple Plaything news, I managed to get it to the repair place today. They said, without actually looking at it, that it sounds like the carburetor needs cleaned. Cross your toes, friends, that it is indeed that and not something I'll need to sell my body to pay for... because, quite frankly, it wouldn't work. :)

In our lovely Beyond Uber editor Raven news, I talked to her on the phone today, and she's asked me to inform you, our lovely Beyond Uber readers, she is indeed still among the land of the living. She's been working about a gazillion hours a week, and hasn't had time to breath, much less participate in email, Beyond Uber, etc. And her computer was down for a bit. Eventually, she plans on having some free time -- possibly before the next decade -- so stay tuned to the Beyond Uber channel near you.

(The following is an unpaid advertisement for me, your friendly rambler)

(insert announcer's voice here) If you or anyone you know is looking for a part-time, full-time, or contract-based web designer, I'm your gal. And, as of today, am very available. Yep, friends, I need a job. I'm good at what I do, play well with others, and I know telecommuting like the back of my hand. I can write, have years of experience as a newspaper columnist (about the internet), online columnist (internet for beginners stuff), internet-based web design and web graphics instructor for a network of colleges, web designer, and small business owner. Email me at uber@wvi.com for details.

(End unpaid advertisement. Now back to your regularly scheduled Beyond Uber update :) )

What's New:

  • Houdini's Box - Part 4 By Girl Bard posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Friday March 8, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

Today sucked. My Purple Plaything is officially crapola. I tried taking it to the store today, and it sputtered the whole way there, and died several times. Then after I got back home, I realized I'd forgotten several necessary things (it's been one of those days), and I tried to go back, and couldn't make it.

So I tried to ride it over to the repair place, and I couldn't even make it out of my neighborhood. I'm not sure how I'm going to get it there now. I was thinking of buying a new Palm, but that's gonna have to wait.

It hasn't been a fun day. The only thing I succeeded in doing is finding a bulb to fit my lava lamp. A bulb which cost $7.50. For a little bitty 25 watt bulb. But I gotta have my lava lamp. Life just wouldn't be right without it. It shall be featured once again on my web cam (http://www.iwantalife.com/cam) during the nocturnal hours (Pacific time), and at various other times. Let us rejoice.

In weather news, it snowed today. For a little bit, anyway. It stuck in yards, etc., then melted, then hailed like all mighty... um, hail, that stuck around for a bit, then melted all the way gone bye bye. It was all very exciting. It was also sunny for part of the day, and it rained some, and it was pretty windy for a bit.

It was one-stop shopping... everything you could want in weather in one convenient 24 hour period. You gotta like that.

In other news, more daytime talk show topics...

Jerry Springer: Lesbian for a Day
(Jerry's a lesbian for a day? And here I thought Jerry's a male... silly me)

Ricki Lake: You Are My Baby's Daddy
(Ricki's a daddy? And here I thought Ricki's a female... strange)

Montel Williams: I Disapprove of Your Relationship
(Well, Montel, I didn't ask you, anyway)

Jenny Jones: You Need to Be Told, Your Lover Is Too Old
(What is it with these judgmental talk show hosts, anyway?)

Montel Williams: Safe ... but Deadly?
(Um... huh?)

What's New:

  • The Greatest Gift - Part 3 By Carrie Carr posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Snowbound - Part 11 By Queenfor4 posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • The Reality In Dreams - Part 1 By A. Tietz posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    A CIA assassin is having reoccurring dreams of a beautiful golden haired woman. She gets a big surprise when one of her marked victims resembles her dreams and she finds it hard to kill the person. The story follows what this assassin does when faced with her dreams possibly becoming a reality and challenging her past, present and future. Continuing story.

  • Tie Break - Part 2 By Bonnie posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Thursday March 7, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

We have guest ramblings tonight from the illustrious bard, Carrie's AJ! But first, a word from me: My Purple Plaything is back home where it belongs. All praise the gods of scooters!

And now, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's AJ:


There are few things in ones life that we can count on. People say that death and taxes are the only sure things, but I think that we can all come up with some things that are also sure bets. With that in mind, I decided to list my top 10 lists of things that you can count on to happen in fan fic land. If I offend anyone in the process, see number 6.

10. If an email comes with "Spew Alert," your keyboard is probably safe. If an email doesn't come with "Spew Alert" when it should, you're headed for a trip to the computer store.

9. You will read at least one online uber story per week where modern-day characters say, "By the Gods!" or refer to "Morpheus' Realm".

8. The line, "She let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding," will appear in 90% of stories you read. I prefer to use the phrase, "She breathed hard and fast until she passed out due to hyperventilating." Now, let's see someone work that in!

7. A natural result of Yahoo-Groups being down is that your inbox will be flooded with 500 "Is this thing on?" and "Testing!" emails when it goes back up.

6. You will probably insult at least one person with a list like this one.

5. It is impossible to finish reading a "Plot, what plot?" story.

4. It is impossible to feel disappointed when you can't finish reading a "Plot, what plot?" story.

3. It is impossible to avoid injuring yourself when trying out the techniques in a "Plot, what plot?" story.

2. Sometimes it's safer when a love scene fades to black. For more clarification, see number 3.

1. The more explicit the love scene you've been reading, the more likely it is that your partner's period has just started.

That's my list for tonight. Of course, I'm sleep deprived at the moment.

Carrie's AJ
jantrumbo@attibi.com
http://jantrumbo.home.attbi.com


What's New:

Wednesday March 6, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

As I'm sure you've already noticed, Yahoo Groups took an unannounced vacation for over a day. During that time, all activity on its lists was suspended, and the Yahoo Groups web site was unavailable. That was so very nice of them, wasn't it?

Please note -- I didn't post yesterday, list members didn't miss anything. Since Yahoo was taking a vacation, I did so, too.

I'm a rebel that way.

Anyway, short ramble tonight, as I'm not feeling well. Blame it on my period. I do.

Oh, a sad bit of news... for those who follow my very exiting web cam page, I would like to inform you of a sad passing. The light bulb in my lava lamp died. That means, until I am able to replace it, I will not be able to feature my lava lamp at night. And since I still don't have my Purple Plaything back from my brother, it will be at least Thursday before I can obtain a new bulb. It's a special kind of bulb, and I'm not sure if there's any place around here which will have one. Wish me luck, friends, in my journey.

In Purple Plaything news, it's still at my brother's house. He was supposed to bring it out tonight, but was unable to. He's going to try again tomorrow night. Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, wires, and all that jazz that he is able to bring it out. I miss my Purple Plaything. I just dont feel I'm fully able to kick ass without it.

What's New:

Monday March 4, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

My brother, my dear sweet brother, says my Purple Plaything is doing fine. He just can't bring it back to my house. We live in different towns, and his truck decided to break something or other, and he's going to have to replace the motor.

Of course, he also has an SUV, and the bike can fit into the back, but he said the last time he did that, the SUV smelled like gas for a month. This is coming from a man who regularly smells like gasoline. He'll probably bring it out in the SUV, anyway, he's just giving me a hard time. Of course, if he doesn't, I'll just have to show his wife some pictures of him as a baby, sitting in a roasting pan and holding a basketball. If that doesn't work, I'll scan 'em and put 'em on the internet.

Pulp Fiction Contest Results:

Have you checked out the winners at the Academy's Pulp Fiction contest?

Bard Publication Announcement:

DevenK's story, Dark Seduction, is going to be published as an eBook by Amatory Ink. Publication date is TBA. For more information, go to DevenK's site at:

What's New:
  • The Play By Ri posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Short story. Summary pending. Complete.

  • My Knight By Ri posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Description taken from the story's disclaimer: "This story was inspired by the film Pretty Woman but took some strange and unexpected turns so please don't expect the same story the characters took on new professions and changed their own characters completely." Complete.

  • Letter of Marque By V. Anderson posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    First story in a "long serialized historical pirate saga." Set in the Caribbean in 1703. Female pirate captain becomes a privateer and works against slavery.

  • Snowbound - Part 10 By Queenfor4 posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • For the Love of a Woman - Parts 5 through 7 By S. Anne Gardner posted at Gemini (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Hallowed Crossing - Chapter 8 By Hunter Ash posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Tie Break - Part 1 By Bonnie posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    From the author: "Anne Patakis and Shana Wilson are best friends and have a serious problem with timing. They love each other, but never quite get around to mentioning that. There's a lot of Angst in this story (or so I've been told) - so beware. A love story mystery drama, for lack of a better description."

  • Sedona Rain - Part 19 By Carole Giorgio posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Countertransference - Part 4 By phair posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Houdini's Box - Part 3 By Girl Bard posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Sunday March 3, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

So, my brother called me today to report he can't find anything wrong with my Purple Plaything. He ran it around (did cookies in his backyard, he said), and it is running fine. He's going to run it around his neighborhood tomorrow, to see how it goes.

Now, this I would like to see. My 6' tall brother, running around on a purple scooter with a 'girls kick ass' bumper sticker on the front. But he'll do it, because he loves me. And I think he has a large knife, should anyone make fun of him.

I'm kidding!

I *know* he has a large knife.

:-)

In other news, I registered a domain the other day... iwantalife.com. I was surprised it was available. I don't remember quite how it came about, other than it seemed like a good thing to do, and, after all, I do want a life. Anyway, it inspired me to redo my personal web page, and I moved my web cam thingie to the new domain. It seems to fit there.

As I said, I redid my personal page... it's still boring, mind you, but it's a *different* boring.

What's New:

  • An Affair To Remember - Part 3 By Ambrosia posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • Seeing You Again For The First Time - Part 18 By Colleen posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • A New Goal In Life - Part 6 By Ri posted at the Athenaeum (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • A Single Tear - Part 6 By JM Dragon and Erin O'Rielly posted at JM's site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • The Inside Out - Parts 1 and 2 By LA Tucker posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Sequel to The Light Fantastic. Will be updated weekly, in parts. Chloe, Sara, Marcy and a cast of oddball characters the author has trouble keeping track of return to wreak mayhem in the small lakeside town of Stonecreek, PA. Now it's an insufferably hot summer, the golf course is struggling, and Sara and Chloe are getting on each other's last nerves. Screwball romance always goes bump in the night, and day, in Stonecreek. Continuing story. (note from Celine: Ack! How am I supposed to wait for this to be finished?? Not fair, LA! :-) )

  • Caution: Under Construction - Part 12 By Vertigo posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

  • White Nights - Chapter 54 By Minerva posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story.

Saturday March 2, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

It's show and tell time! I took some pictures at the park the other day, before my bike up and bit the dust (no verdict on what's up with it yet), and here are the results:

The first several are of a covered bridge.... and then there's another bridge, and some ducks, and trees, and grass, and dirt. It's all very exciting.

I'm sad to report I forgot to look at the talk show listings for yesterday and today. But I did look at Monday's upcoming topics... but, alas, they're pretty boring.

My sister-in-law came out and took me to the store today, since I am presently without transportation. I bought all the essentials in life -- dog food, dog treats, cat food... but I forgot the cat treats. My cat, Pesha, will probably never forgive me. I also bought food for my nephew's guinea pig, which we are once again pig sitting for the spring and summer.

Funny, I don't remember buying much at all for myself or my mother... some cereal and soup... but the bill came to over $40. There's something very wrong with that.

More Kevin Smith Fund Raising Info:

Adrienne Wilkinson has added another photo at eBay:

This one is of her with Kevin Smith... appears to be a cover of a Xena Fan Club newsletter.

CreatiVideos and Xenaversity of MN have set up a donation site:

You can donate at that site, now through March 15. If you donate $30 or more, you can get a set of Kevin Smith videos.... but, of course, donate for the cause first and foremost.

And don't forget to light a virtual candle in Kevin's honor at the Xenaversity site:

What's New:
    Hell On High Hells (Beyond Uber Alt) By Carrie's AJ posted at her site http://home.attbi.com/~jantrumbo/shortstories/High_heels.htm AJ's entry in the latest Bard's Challenge. *****Celine Recommends*****

    Lust's Journey (Beyond Uber Alt) By Carrie's AJ posted at her site http://home.attbi.com/~jantrumbo/shortstories/Lusts_Journey.htm AJ's touching tribute to Carrie Carr's Lex and Amanda series. Okay, so it's ridiculous... and ridiculously funny. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Fast Fling By Carrie's AJ posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    This one's hot. It's on fire. It's all that and a packet of ketchup. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Stun Gun Shy By Carrie's AJ posted at her site (Beyond Uber Alt)
    A spoof of Lori Lake's "Gun Shy"... Diz and Jazz cut right to the chase, they do. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Miss Larilia's Lesson By Mavis Applewater posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Wed. Afternoon PWP story. A young shop girl and the new school teacher strike up a friendship. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Deuce's Wild By Mavis Applewater posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Wed. Afternoon PWP story. Sequel to Queen of Hearts. Regina tries her luck at in a game of chance. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Cupid's Arrow By Mavis Applewater posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Wed. Afternoon PWP story. Part five of The Home For The Holiday's series. Lindsey and Tressa celebrate Valentines Day. *****Celine Recommends*****

  • Seeing You Again for the First Time - Part 18 By Colleen posted at the Merwolf Academy of Bards (Beyond Uber Alt)
    Continuing story. (I'm sure this one will get a recommends when I read it after it's finished :) )

Friday March 1, 2002

Random Ramblings (by Celine)

The neighbors have their Christmas lights on again. I still don't know why. I keep hoping I'll run into them outside. Then I can strike up a casual conversation... you know, say hi... talk about the weather... and ask what in the hell is goin' on with those Christmas lights... that sort of thing

Alas, that has yet to happen. Perhaps some day soon.

So, it's March. And eight days until my birthday. For those who lack math skills, that means it will be on the 9th. My weather forecast for the 9th is: rain. Oh, it may start out sunny, but trust me, it will rain. It always does. It wouldn't be right if it didn't. That's what I get for being born in a rainy month.

In related news, I would like to take this time to give a big pre-happy birthday to Shannon, who turns 29 on the 8th. Just remember, Shannon... you'll always be one year and one day older than me!

Kevin Smith fund raising:

Adrienne Wilkinson, who portrayed Eve on 'Xena,' is auctioning off a personally signed photo, and the proceeds will go to the Kevin Smith fund.

It ends in a day or two (depending on when you read this), so be sure to bid on it soon.

What's New:

The Beyond Uber What's New from February has been archived